My tiny gift from above

  When Hudson wakes up, it is the most precious moment of my day.  Walking in the grocery store this afternoon, he fell asleep in the baby bjorn with his tiny head against my chest.  A short while before I went to check out and head home; he opened his little eyes, leaned his head back to look up at my face, and smiled a drooley, sleep-drunken, almost toothless grin.  He gazed at me with a love bond that is almost indescribable.  I melted into his navy hazel eyes and for a brief instant, nothing else existed but the two of us.  His baby breath and soft giggles completely engulfed my heart.  What an amazing creature, this son of mine.  What a perfect gift from God, packaged so beautifully and delivered to me.
  He just finished nursing a few minutes ago and immediately began his sing-song cooing and smiling.  Now he is contentedly playing on the floor and periodically squealing with delight.  All it takes is a sideways glance from me to send him into total body shivers of joy.
  Thank you, Lord, for this little punkin I call my boy.  You always know what to give me and when I need it.  He is truly more than I could ask for or imagine.

Last Night's Sushi for Breakfast?

  

  I walked in the kitchen this morning to prepare breakfast, only to find my husband standing there in his pajama pants, eating last night's sushi from the styrofoam box.  Here I was, ready to make coffee, gluten free chocolate chip pancakes, organic, gluten free breakfast sausage, and pan fried eggs, and the boy was eating dried out sushi.  I don't get it.  He is not a breakfast person, just like his mother.  I'm not sure how I actually married this guy.

  Who doesn't like the only meal of the day when no one judges you for ladling two cups of liquid maple sugar on top of carb filled, candy studded pancakes, topped off with greasy, porkalicious sausage and buttery, fried eggs?  I can't think of another meal when it's alright for the entire plate to be brown and white, the kids eat with reckless abandon because the whipped cream on their Mickey Mouse waffle is melting into their tablespoon of butter, and the thicker and fattier the bacon, the better.  I love a meal whose main dish consists of virtually dessert.  Breakfast for dinner?  I'll take it.

  Do you want an egg, honey?  Nope.  Would you like some sausage, sweetie?  Nuh-uh.  What is wrong with you, darling?  

  Thankfully, my children love the first meal of the day, and I can get them to the table with no problem.  I've tried to instill some great eating habits in my kids, but when it comes to breaking fast, all bets are off.  We go to town and I'm not ashamed of it!  I may still try to throw in the organic sausage, or slow cooking organic rolled oats, and maybe a cage free egg or two just to make me feel like I've made an attempt at health food.  But, when it comes to my favorite meal of the day, I want to enjoy myself and no one can stop me!

 

No butter? No problem!

So grateful for the organic heavy cream in my fridge.  I gave my girls a little lesson in old school kitchen wisdom.  We were without butter for dinner, and I needed some to cook with.  So, a pinch of salt and about a third of a cup of cream in a little tupperware container, and we shook ourselves some pretty tasty homemade butter!  It worked fabulously and Elizabeth loved helping me shake the living daylights out of it.  She was the first to taste it, and greatly approved.  Yummmmm.  This makes me want my own little homestead even more!  Bring on my Jersey cow!  I've already named her Buddercup!

08-12-08 for Ella

whirlybird

Constant motion

Flashes of light

Golden hair

Shining so bright

Whirling

and

Twirling

With not a stitch on

Coloring

Climbing

Singing a song

Laughter is hers

Well into the night

Sweet little Ella

My life's delight

Birthday Mania

Today, only nineteen days after her real birthday, we finally celebrated Anabelle's third!!!  We had so much fun doing it up Max and Ruby style.  All of her little friends came over and helped us celebrate with everything from balloon animals and a fishing game to beanbag toss and bunny ear headbands.  They were adorable having their photos made as Max the bunny.  It seemed like everyone enjoyed the food, fun, and general kid time.

Anabelle and Ava.  Thanks for the tutu, Ava!!

Max Bunny's Favorite Toys Bean Bag Toss

Elizabeth and Coleman did a great job making sure everyone caught fish and prizes!

I hope Cooper and Nolan caught some big ones!

The daddies got in on balloon animal action.  Thanks, Bernd and Philip!

Making bunny ear headbands.  Evie, Levi, and Autry are doing so well helping their mommies.

Jacob wasn't so sure about having his photo made, but he sure is cute!

I think Clara enjoyed the 

Smörgåsbord!

Thank you everyone for coming to my birthday party!!!

I'm raising little foodies!

  After our walk, I decided to go ahead and make dinner as planned...a new chicken pot pie recipe from Martha Stewart modified to be gluten free.  Had I known it would take 1 1/2 hours just to prepare, I would have waited for another night.  However, the end result was fabulous and my little food critics were more than satisfied.  Elizabeth had a running commentary for me about how moist the crust was on the inside, but flaky on the outside.  She loved the flavors coming out in the sauce, and was really sweet about everything.  Ella ate the crust first and was going on and on about how good the inside was.  They like watching shows on Food Network, and were making their own attempt at being judges.  Too funny.

  The pies turned out quite pretty, and were perfect individual portions.  If I have time, I'll make these again.  IF I have time...

  Every night when Aaron gets home, Anabelle immediately races to the refrigerator to get him his dinner.  Tonight, she was a puppy and retrieved everything with her mouth.  I snatched a photo of her getting his fork- quite a character I have here!

  She's taken a huge interest in anything I do in the kitchen.  If mommy has an apron, Anabelle has one, too.  If I throw in a pinch of salt, she follows suit.  I love it, and I think that is why she wants to feed daddy.  She has ownership in our meals and is quite proud.  I love it because my picky eater will sample everything while we make it and I don't worry as much about her calorie and nutritional intake.  Maybe she'll grow up to love the culinary arts!  My own little Iron Chef!

Sunshine, on my shoulders, makes me happy.

I can't wait to go out in this weather.  The baby is napping and I'm waiting on Elizabeth to get home from school.  I need to stay out of the house for a while.  I think God blesses us when we are outdoors with an extra measure of peace and tranquility.  The sun rains down on our backs and smiles are quick to grace our faces.  Sticks become treasures, pine cones coveted pieces of artwork, and pebbles sought after for their own beauty.  It feels so good to use my legs and stretch my lungs.  Crisp breezes take Hudson's breath away, as he isn't used to anything blowing in his tiny face.  I love to chuckle at his wonderment of the outside world.  My favorite is watching Anabelle put her hand to her ear and ask me if I can hear it.  "Can you hear dat, mommy?"  It doesn't matter what sound it is, bird, train, dog barking.  She just wants to know if I hear it, too.  Maybe we'll take time to go to the park for a while.  I may even give myself a break from cooking tonight.  We can spend that time playing games, instead.  Tomorrow, the weather turns again.  Today, it's our own private paradise.

Big girl time tomorrow!

  Tomorrow brings a friend to my home!  I'm so thrilled that Jocelyn is coming over.  It's a rare day when I am allowed interaction with an adult female.  My conversations usually surround what's the latest and greatest pillow pet or what's coming up next on Dora Saves the Prince or Max and Ruby's silly shenanigans.
  I love my husband, but God knew what he was doing when he invented GIRLfriends!  Nothing takes place of that special bond.  Someone who can look at your messes and just help you clean up (or sit on the couch and ignore them like you do!).  Someone who, when you stick your foot in your mouth, gives you her hand in pulling it out again.  Jocelyn is a good friend and precious woman of God.  I praise him for bringing her into my life and allowing us to cultivate a special friendship.
  Moving all over the place during my childhood and young adulthood left me quite the wanderer.  I never have been blessed with "childhood friends" since I never remained in the same place for more than a couple of years.  I am currently in a house that has proven to be the longest I've stayed anywhere in my life.  Now, it might be time to go again.
  Until that decision is made, though, I will treasure these moments and have fun.  I may not be able to have a slumber party or girls' clubhouse anymore, but I can at least have lunch!

On with the day...

  I woke up this morning after only having been summoned in the night one time!  How marvelous!  Little Hudson nursed and went right back to sleep around 4:00 a.m. and Anabelle didn't arise until eight o'clock!  Little blessings feel so big sometimes.  Thank you Lord.
  Today, I'm off to the store(s) and in search of some fun ideas for Anabelle's upcoming third birthday party.  We are about Max and Ruby'd out around here.  Anabelle's obsession with them rivals lil' sis Heather's obsessions with- oh, you name it- sweet songs, the Little Mermaid, Pinwheel, the Last Unicorn, pacifiers, glow worms, high ponytails...  :-)  I try to explain to Elizabeth and Ella when we are being forced to watch the "oh so scary" Max and Ruby Halloween video for the three hundred and fourteenth time that toddlers and little bitty kiddos learn by repetition.  I don't think I've convinced them, though.
  Scenario- what would you do?- Last night, on his way home, Aaron witnessed a man and woman veering all over 6 lanes of traffic, punching the living daylights out of each other's faces.  He fumbled around for a pencil to jot down their license plate number, but then they took an overpass and he lost them.  They came close to hitting our vehicle and almost caused a wreck with another vehicle behind them.  Aaron wanted to follow them, but I am extremely glad he didn't.  Noble to want to intervene on behalf of the woman, but what if they both in turn, turned on Aaron?  What a crazy situation.
  I praise God for the Christian husband that I have, our loving household, and the peace that comes when we walk with the Lord.  I cannot imagine what it must be like to exist in a relationship that is so volatile.

Psalm 133

How good and pleasant it is

when brothers live together in unity!

It is like precious oil poured on the head,

running down on the beard,

running down on Aaron's beard, 

down upon the collar of his robes.

It is as if the dew of Hermon

were falling on Mount Zion.

For there the Lord bestows his blessing, 

even life forevermore.

Big John

I am in love with this horse.  If only I had some land...  He makes me feel like a kid again.  I've been imagining what it would be like to have him and be able to ride.  That warmth and feeling of the gentle giant under you, his sweet smell and the sounds he makes; oh man.  For some reason, I have been thinking about my panic attacks and how difficult those nights are.  How wonderful would it be to go to the barn and put my arms around his giant, fuzzy shoulders and bury my face in his mane.  I can feel the peace God would allow to wash over me.  And my kiddos- how precious to see their tiny bodies riding on top of Big John or being pulled along in the carriage behind him.  So silly of me, I know.  It's just a dream...

2:30 am.

You move

Static beaten out by cries,

coughs,

sneezes.

I hear your fussing over the fan.

No white noise hides that away.

Up again to feed.

This time in bed.

But, you're hot

and uncomfortable-

fitful.

Hours stagger by

and I get you in your crib.

You grunt,

unhappy.

Rub your nose raw on the blanket

Unwillingly drift to sleep.

Up she comes-

Daddy, I'm done.

Come wipe me.

It's all over now.

Up and

down

and up

and

down 

and a baggie from the kitchen

magically beside my pillow

the piano bench pulled out

what have you been doing out here

in the dark

by yourself

back to bed

tears and angry

I want the light on

NO

it's nighttime.

(but it's really almost seven)

Seven?

I hear your crying again

she's asleep,

but you're not.

hello, day.

Ahhh...that ever elusive sleep I've craved for so many, many years.

  Last night, I made a decision.  I'm going to get my baby somehow, someway to sleep through the night.  I know, I'm a real comedienne, right?  He is a precious angel, that little Hudson.  Laughing, smiling, babbling.  What a doll.  But, this twice awake every night has got to go.  I know he can do it.  He's slept for ten hour stretches several times.  Teething and a really yucky cold have completely messed my little guy up.
  I like the suggestions ivillage has on sleep training. It's an older article, but it still has fabulous insight.  I've tried to enclose a link- we'll see if it works.  The good thing about their article is that it does remind me that a breastfed baby needs to eat more often than a formula fed baby.  You'd think I would remember these things since this isn't my first rodeo.  I guess I'll mark that one up to sleep deprivation!  Ha!  Now that Hudson is over 15 pounds and 4 1/2 months old, I think I will try a little of the training and see what happens.
  Our nights are disrupted with Anabelle more often than not, so having three of the four sleeping soundly will be an improvement.  With both Hudson and Anabelle up at all hours, bleary eyes and grumpy demeanors are becoming status quo around here.  Not fun.
  Why is Anabelle awake?  That's an entirely different subject, and dinner needs to be made.  Maybe I'll vent on that later.  For now, wish me luck.  I have a day's worth of dishes calling my name, food to prepare, a 2nd grader to wrangle into doing homework, laundry to finish, and a husband coming home in a few hours who will want to eat and hit the sack... ;-).  My day never ends!

Oh, this is what I'm talking about!

Sleep, sweet babies, sleep...

And there was evening, and there was morning- the first day. I guess everyone has to start somewhere!

  Today, I read a dear friend's blog.  I have tried to blog twice before, and very obviously did nothing productive either time.  After seeing her sweet photos, shedding a tear or two, and re-thinking things, I decided to give this blogging idea one more shot.  I am more busy than I ever have been in my life with four children ages eight, five, three, and 4 months.  However, I think I am going to attempt to make this a priority.  Finding an outlet for me has proven difficult, to say the least.
  A few photos of the clan to get me started and then off to make dinner.

                                                                     Sweet Anabelle

Me and Elizabeth

Aaron and the girls reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas"

Tradition!!!

Sweet big sister Ella and baby Hudson

Baby Hudson...happy boy!

And...Fudge, our cocker-basset mix.

  What a blessing it is to share with friends and family my thoughts and dreams (with a little kid stuff thrown in the mix).  I don't know what will become of this, but hopefully I can keep up with it and impart some good in the process.

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain."  Psalm 127:1